I wear makeup quite a bit. Sometimes it’s full glam goth. Sometimes it’s subtle office makeup. The only time I’m usually barefaced is at the gym and even then, if I still have eyeliner on, it probably just means I came straight from work.
Over the years, I’ve noticed a very specific social interaction that seems to happen almost exclusively with other women. If I happen to be wearing makeup, there’s occasionally someone who will immediately announce, completely unprompted:
“I don’t wear makeup.”
The funny part is… before they even say it, I can usually tell.
Also, I don’t carry trophies or cookies in my bag.
What always fascinates me is that makeup was never the topic of conversation to begin with. We could be discussing the economy, jury duty, a parking ticket, or the collapse of civilization itself, and somehow we still arrive at:
“I only wear lip gloss.”
Wonderful. Ring the cathedral bells!
Sometimes the follow-up question is:
“What’s the special occasion?”
As though eyeliner automatically means I’m on my way to a gala, a séance, or the burial ceremony of a minor aristocrat. The interaction itself is what makes it strange. Nobody asked. The conversation was moving along perfectly fine before we suddenly took a detour into a press conference about concealer. What’s even more interesting is that these comments rarely happen in a vacuum. They usually appear in the presence of a woman who is visibly wearing makeup, which is why the interaction can sometimes feel less like casual conversation and more like subtle social positioning.
Because-ding ding ding– the statement is usually not about makeup at all.
It’s about identity.
For some people, “I don’t wear makeup” quietly translates into:
“I’m lower maintenance.”
“I’m more natural.”
“I’m not trying that hard.”
“I’m above all of this.”
None of those things is necessarily true, of course, but people often use appearance choices to communicate personality traits they want associated with themselves.
And sometimes, if we’re being honest, the comment functions as a kind of preemptive defense mechanism. If someone feels slightly insecure about how they present themselves, reframing it as a deliberate philosophy allows them to control the narrative before anyone else can interpret it for them.
That instinct, however, reveals something interesting.
People who are genuinely comfortable with their choices usually don’t feel the need to announce them to strangers.
Whether someone wears a full face of makeup, tinted moisturizer, or absolutely nothing at all, secure people usually just exist without making their appearance a personality trait. That’s what makes those random declarations feel so strange. Nobody was discussing makeup in the first place, yet somehow we’ve ended up holding a town hall meeting about concealer.
With men, the dynamic is usually different. Sometimes it’s clumsy curiosity.
Sometimes it’s the familiar:
“I prefer women without makeup.”An opinion often delivered from behind a meticulously sculpted beard and enough beard oil to lubricate industrial machinery.
Many men who claim to prefer “no makeup” are usually picturing a very specific kind of makeup they don’t recognize as makeup. What they often mean is: “I prefer makeup that looks effortless to me.” Which, ironically, usually requires effort.
Psychologically, comments like these often have very little to do with cosmetics themselves. In some instances, it’s subtle status signaling. Sometimes it’s an attempt to project authenticity. Occasionally, it’s mild negging disguised as honesty. And very often, it’s simply people attaching moral value to appearance choices that are ultimately neutral.
That’s the interesting shift we’ve watched happen culturally.
Women used to be judged for not wearing makeup because it supposedly meant they weren’t “put together.” Nowadays, women are sometimes judged for wearing makeup because it supposedly means they’re vain, insecure, artificial, or trying too hard.
The expectations changed, but the scrutiny never left.
Same courtroom. Different charges.
At the end of the day, makeup is not a moral issue.
Wear makeup. Don’t wear makeup. Smear yourself in bronzer like a rotisserie chicken. I genuinely do not care. But if nobody asked, maybe we can retire the strange little announcements.